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Job Application
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This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida…
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever is available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
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Funniest part is that..
They hired him because he was so honest and funny!
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{ 4 trackbacks }
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Quite funny! I guess the Personnel Manager is a funny person, that is why he was considered. Nice one.
Very funny indeed, I wonder if his nan is his car that rides my band-wagon.
Well, those are great responses! No one likes to be asked stupid questions when they just want a job no matter how shitty it is!
LOL!!!!!!!!! THATS FUNNY, DID HE REALLY GET THA JOB??? I SHOULD TRY THAT
Actually, according to Snopes and Bulmash.com, this was just a joke turned urban legend.
So I wouldn’t advise ruining your chances at a job (no matter how crappy it is, at the moment) by hoping the person going through the applications has a sense of humor.
i do not blame it on him at all cos that’s what desperate means when u need a job. i need a job too (17) years and that’s how i got here not to read comments. iiiiiiiiiiiiii neeeeeeed aaaaaa joooooooooooob.