It is Friday night and Superman is bored. He decides to fly to his local, but isn’t keen at the prospect of drinking alone, so on the way he calls at Spiderman’s house.

Spiderman answers the door and says,

“I’m sorry, Superman, but I can’t come to the pub tonight. The web mechanism on my wrist is broken. I’m fighting crime tomorrow and I must fix my web mechanism.”

Superman flies away, and en route to the pub, calls the home of Captain America. Captain America answers the door and says,

“I’m sorry, Superman, but I can’t come to the pub tonight. I’m fighting crime tomorrow and I need to pump some iron or else I won’t be fit enough to fight crime.”

Superman understands their need for preparation. Crime fighting is an important job.

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A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and, sure enough, out popped a genie.

“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there is a catch.”

“What catch?”

the man asked.

The genie replied,

“Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”

“Well, I can live with that! No problem!”

replied the elated man.

“What is your first wish?”

asked the genie.

“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”

POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.

“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,”

said the genie.

“Next wish?”

“I’d love a million dollars,”

replied the man.

POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.

“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,”

said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,”

replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”

The man thought long and hard, and finally said,

“I would like you to beat me half to death“