1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
4. Change your toast at least once a month. 
5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.
8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.
9. Get the bartender’s attention with eye contact and a smile.
10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.
11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I’m going to get drunk. I hate shots. It’s coming back up.
12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He’ll get the message.
14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.
19. If you don’t have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks. [click to continue…]
You might also like
Tagged as:
a bartender,
alcohol,
alcoholic drink,
alcoholic drink recipe,
bar,
bartender,
bartender drink,
cocktail,
cocktail shaker,
cocktail waitress,
d.j.,
drink,
drink mix,
drink recipe,
liquor store,
Milwaukee,
mix drink,
physicist,
recipe,
same artist,
small change has no value,
staff member,
travel tipsmix drink recipes,
USD
Once again our team cracked the top 10 jokes for you. This week we bring you some of the finest jokes as well as some funny pictures to spice up the reading. We are thankful for your continued support and especially thankful to our stumbleupon friends who thumb this up and review it for us. please keep the stumbles coming so we can keep feeding you with some great jokes. Have fun.. happy reading..
Pizza Pie
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He thought about it for some time before responding.
“Just cut it into 4 pieces…
I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.”

[click to continue…]
You might also like

Killer Specs Once upon a time, an iPhone 3G and an Old radio met in a bar. iPhone kept bragging about it’s specs...
|
|

Wisdom of age
An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the...
|

Lost Ball
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his...
|
Tagged as:
advanced fax,
announcer,
bank,
bartender,
blondes,
blonds rob bank,
car engine,
car looks,
cellular telephone,
fairly straight forward,
getaway car,
growing old,
GUARD,
gynecologist,
hatred,
John,
Jokes,
jokes of week,
leader,
Minnesota,
New York,
old tricks,
pizza pie,
professor,
radio announcer,
sadistic,
scientist,
security guard,
survivor,
top 10,
top 10 Jokes,
Washington,
would you remarry