Top 10 Jokes of the Week: 43 of 2008
Top 10 jokes of the week is a regular feature of this blog to spiceup your weekend. We have also included 10 funny pictures to make them more funny.By the way, there is no incest on your monitor, Its an animated GIF. That being said, please enjoy this weeks’s top 10 jokes.
Kids…..
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”
Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principals office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Harry: “9.”
Principal: ” What is 6 x 6?”
Harry: “36.”
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.”
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions.”
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”
Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”
Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: “Pockets.”
Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps in to?”
Harry: “Pants.”
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?”
Harry: “Coconut.”
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”
The principals eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”
Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?”
Harry: “Shake hands.”
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?”
Harry: “Firetruck.”
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong……
Top 10 Jokes of the Week: 42 of 2008
Once again our team cracked the top 10 jokes for you. This week we bring you some of the finest jokes as well as some funny pictures to spice up the reading. We are thankful for your continued support and especially thankful to our stumbleupon friends who thumb this up and review it for us. please keep the stumbles coming so we can keep feeding you with some great jokes. Have fun.. happy reading..
Pizza Pie
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He thought about it for some time before responding.
“Just cut it into 4 pieces…
I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.”
Top 10 Jokes of Week: 38 of 2008
After a long pause, we are back with more of what you love on this blog. These top 10 jokes of the week are guaranteed to tickle a funny bone or two. Some of these are fresh while there may be some jokes that you have heard before. We will try to be more regular in our posting of joke and catch up. Now we should no more stand between you and your gig.. if you enjoy them, do leave a comment so we know what kind of joke you like and post more on that topic. have fun…
Tricked
A male and female driver are involved in a horrific collision. As they crawl from the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and beautiful. She turns to him and gushes breathily: “We shouldn’t have survived that. Maybe it’s a sign from God that we’re meant to be together!”
The man stammers back, “Oh yes, I agree completely!”
“And look,” she continues. “Though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine is intact, too! It’s another sign. Let’s drink to our love!”
“Well, OK!’ says the man. She offers him the bottle, so he downs half and hands it back.
“Your turn,” he says.
“No, thanks,” says the woman, “I think I’ll just wait for the police.”
Doctor in Trouble
This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window…
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
“Do you know what I am doing?” asks the doctor?
“Yes, checking for abnormalities.” she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, “Do you know what I am doing now?”, she replies, “Yes, checking for cancer.”
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, “Do you know what I am doing now?”
She replies, “Yes, getting Genital Herpes - thats why I am here!”
Top 10 Jokes of the Week: 37 of 2008
Welcome as we are back with another episode of top 10 jokes. we try our best to collect these jokes across the bars and pubs and of course the Internet. None of these jokes are original. you might have heard them a lots of time before.. but one thing we can assure that they are classics. These jokes are timeless and each time you read them or hear them you are bound to smile…We are looking forward to tickle your funny bone with this week’s top 10 jokes and looking forward to your contribution.
A Dying Note
A lady was standing beside a dying husband. His nose and mouth were full with hoses so he was just couldn’t talk. The possible communication was only by his eyes and hands. So the time comes when the man was having a hard time to breath. But in the last minutes, the husbands looked like want to say something. He was chocked and his eyes were turning upside down. The doctor said it would be helpful if they gave him a paper and pencil to write down what he wanted to say.
So they did.
And, he was gone.
After all the grief’s and cries, the lady took the note and read it.
Suddenly, she slapped the doctor!
And she gave the note to the doctor. It reads:
“Don’t step on my oxygen hose, dumb ass !!”
Top 10 Jokes of the Week: 36 of 2008
A new week and a new set of top 10 jokes to amuse you a bit. Take the time out and read through the post to find the joke that tickles you. we hope that we can make your day by putting that much needed smile on your face. A joke is a good way to cheer yourself up and others around you. we hope that you will enjoy this week’s top 10 jokes and you will also pass them to your friends and co-workers.
Driving Under Influence
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.
The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn’t coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.
“Are you Mr. Johnson?” the asked? He admitted that he was.
“Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?” Again, the man admitted that was he.
“And what did you do then,” the troopers asked.” The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed. Read the rest of this entry
Top 10 Jokes of the Week
Here are this week’s top 10 jokes to tickle your funny bone. Our editorial team hopes releasing the jokes at this time might help you with your monday blues. share them with your friends and co-workers to spice up their day as well.
Kindness begets kindness
While sorting mail, a post-office worker found a postcard from an old lady that broke his heart. It read:
“Dear God, I have never had a holiday. I am 86 and would love to go away somewhere special before I die. All I need is £250. Please help.”
The worker decided to organize a collection among his colleagues and soon raised £200. He sent it off to the old lady. Three weeks later, he found another postcard from the woman. It read:
Top 10 Jokes of the Week
So you liked of our gigs last week, our team thinks its time for another top 10 Jokes list. so here we are. A joke is matter of taste, I must say; as there is no single joke that will make every one laugh. It is never a joke we laugh at… Its how we can relate to that joke based on our experiences and environment. The jokes we selected below for this week are a mixed bag. you will not find every one of them equally amusing but I can bet that you will be able to find one that will tickle your funny bone. If we are able to put a smile on your face, our effort is worth it. I will not like to stand between you and your top 10 jokes of the week anymore. Enjoy yourself.
Screwed!
An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself
“Oh God, I’m screwed!!!!!.”
There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out:
“No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you.”
